i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
