sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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