Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
