It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
