If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
