sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
