This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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