I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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