I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
