i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
