Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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