booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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