Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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