32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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