dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
