I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
