i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
