Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
