i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i can't believe i had my finger in that
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
