Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
