After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
sex in a hospital.. check
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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