she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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