Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
