1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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