She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
