i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
