If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
