We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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