Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
