This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
