I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hippo gnu deer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
