have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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