Duck Duck Cougar?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
