And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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