It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
