just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
