wrigley field is MILF paradise
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
