Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
