Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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