You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How's work?
Spinning.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
