Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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