so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
