Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
