If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
