morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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