office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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