if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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