i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
