which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
