that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
