chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
