im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
